Published
Men-only sober living removes a common distraction in early recovery and makes it easier for men to talk honestly, hold each other accountable and build friendships that last. Every Blackburn Recovery Services home and apartment in West Los Angeles is for men only. It is not the only good model, but it works for many men.
Key facts
- Blackburn sober living homes in Venice, Mar Vista, Cheviot Hills and Mid City are men only.
- Blackburn Sober Apartments in West Los Angeles are men only too.
- Men-only does not mean harsher. The structure is the same thing that makes any good sober living work: testing, staff, meetings and community.
- In our homes that means drug testing 3 times a week, daily alcohol testing, full-time staff, and weekly 12 Step meetings and goal setting.
- Many men in our homes work full time or attend local colleges.
Why does men-only housing help in early recovery?
Early recovery asks a lot of a man. He is learning to sleep, eat, work and handle stress without alcohol or drugs. Feelings he numbed for years come back. He is rebuilding trust with family. There is not much room left over.
A men-only house takes one thing off the table. New romantic relationships are a common way early recovery gets sidetracked, and a shared house where that is not in play keeps the focus where it belongs. It is simpler, and simple helps.
Is it easier for men to be honest with other men?
For many men, yes. A lot of men grew up being told to handle problems alone and keep their feelings to themselves. SAMHSA’s guide for clinicians on men’s behavioral health, TIP 56 (2013), discusses how traditional ideas about masculinity can make it harder for men to seek help and talk openly.
In a house of men who are all working on the same thing, those walls come down faster. Men hear someone else say the thing they were afraid to say. They see a man ten months sober admit he is struggling, and it gives them permission to do the same. House meetings stop being something to get through and start being useful.
How does brotherhood turn into accountability?
Accountability works best when it comes from people you respect. In a men-only home, that respect builds quickly because everyone is on the same footing.
- Shared routine. Men test, attend meetings and set goals alongside each other every week.
- Peer example. Newer residents watch men further along handle a job, a hard phone call or a craving.
- Honest feedback. A housemate will say “you seem off” before a problem gets big.
- Friendship. Many men leave sober living with friends they keep for years, which matters because a sober network is strongly linked to how people do after sober living.
Our guide on whether sober living works covers that research in more detail.
What do families notice?
Families usually want to know who their loved one will live with and who is watching out for him. In our homes, the answer is clear: he lives with other sober men, he is tested, and full-time staff are there. With his permission, they get weekly updates. And families can join our free virtual family group, every other Tuesday from 6 to 7 PM Pacific, led by a licensed therapist from Blackburn Clinical Services.
For more on what to ask before a loved one moves in, read questions families should ask before a loved one moves into sober living.
Does men-only living carry into the apartments?
Yes. Blackburn Sober Apartments in West Los Angeles are also men only. They are independent living, with no curfew and no overnight permission, and weekly random drug and alcohol testing is the one piece of structure that stays. Men who step down from our homes keep living among sober men, so the friendships they built do not have to end when they move.
Is men-only sober living right for every man?
Not always. Some men do well in other settings, and the right home matters more than the label. Here is a simple way to think about it:
| Men-only sober living may fit if… | Another setting may fit if… |
|---|---|
| Relationships have pulled you off track before | Your treatment team recommends a specific program elsewhere |
| You find it easier to open up around other men | You need a level of medical care that sober living does not provide |
| You want close peer accountability | You need a home that serves your whole family together |
| You are early in recovery and want fewer distractions | You are already steady and want independent living, in which case a sober apartment may fit |
If you are unsure, tour a few homes and talk with your therapist or treatment team. Our guide on how to choose a sober living home can help.
Questions about men’s sober living
Is Blackburn only for men?
Yes. Every Blackburn sober living home and sober apartment is for men only.
Are there women’s sober livings you can suggest?
We do not run homes for women, so we cannot speak to the day to day of any one women’s home. Call us and we will share what we know about how to search. The questions in our families guide work just as well for comparing women’s homes.
Does men-only mean stricter?
No. Men-only describes who lives in the house, not how strict it is. Structure in our homes comes from testing, staff, meetings and goal setting, the same tools good sober living uses everywhere.
Is men-only sober living good for young men?
Often, yes. Younger men tend to benefit from older peers who have been through it. Read about sober living for young men.
See a Blackburn home
Call us to talk with our team, or schedule a sober living tour in person or by video.
For the apartments, schedule an apartment tour.